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Living with Fibromyalgia

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2006. Before this I was always told by doctors and even specialists that there is nothing wrong with me. One of my family members who I trusted and loved told me it was all in my head, even today.

This is the worse feeling a person can have. You know there is something wrong, you can feel it, it is real, but no one believes you.

Well let me tell you, it is not all in my head, it is not nothing! Ignoring it is not an option, it is not something I just made up.

Fibromyalgia is very, very real.

Some people even said that people with Fibromyalgia cannot do what I do, so I cannot have it. Well, we are all different, I am my mother’s daughter, we keep going fortunately or unfortunately until we get much, much worse.

I got depressed, I was always in pain, always tired, battled with mood swings and even my memory was affected. There are days that I even battle to walk. I was always told to keep my stress levels low, but really, come on, I do not even know if that is possible.

My personal and professional life was influenced and not in a good way. I always tried to hide how I was feeling, I guess all those people telling me it was all in my head. had a real affect on me and this was not good at all. We need to be able to talk to our loved ones and friends about it.

My life changed, I know God never gives you more than you can handle, but some days I really could not cope.

Imagine waking up and not feeling too bad, still have a headache, still have body pain, but at least today it does not feel like an elephant tap danced on me. Looking forward to spending time with your family on a day out, then during your day out, just all of a sudden, you feel so tired that you just want to find a space to crawl into and sleep. The pain is overbearing, and it is hard to focus on anything else. People talk to you but it is as if you do not understand the words they are saying, so you just smile at them as if you come from another planet. Then, it is time to eat, I was so looking forward to have something nice to eat, but as soon as I take a bite, the IBS kicks in. So, you just make as if all is well in the world so that your loved ones can have a fun day out. Who wants to hear in any case all the time that all of the sudden you do not feel well, so this is where you start to make excuses for your actions.

I cannot do everything I use to do, but that is ok, I know what is wrong with me so I have learned to cope and slow down where I can. Some people would say I was lazy, but you know what, if I do not feel good, I will not take the cup to the kitchen right this minute. The housework can wait till tomorrow, it will be there tomorrow, I promise you.

As a single parent it was not always easy, going through my divorce, the stress, the pain, just got too much. For a long time, I just existed. I had to keep working in order to take care of my kiddies. I worked long hours and a lot of overtime to be able to get through the month. If I look back now, I do not know how I even coped, even now. I made some very bad money decisions in order to just get through the month. Which caused more stress because I did not know how I will be able to repay everything. I can tell you this, if it was not for God in my life, I would never have made it this far.

It is funny how your children can give you the will and energy to go on when you just feel that you can’t. It has not always been easy; this I promise you. Working full time and trying your best to help your children and then worrying about finances and where you are going to get money for things like school clothes is really not easy, and there is not always someone who can help. I was lucky, my parents and sisters have helped me a lot over the years.

But one thing that never changes is the constant pain, fatigue, headaches, IBS issues, etc, etc, etc, etc. It never ends. People do not always understand how you feel, especially because the one moment I will be fine the next not so much. I even have anxiety so bad that I would scratch myself until I bleed and not even feel it.

I was diagnosed with severe depression, and I was introduced to Ketamine treatment, this was a real live safer for me. You cannot believe how much this has helped me, my depression is so much better and my mood swings. I actually felt better after the first session I went to. Even my kids and family could see the difference. I am not saying all my symptoms just disappeared, but it really did help me.

Fibromyalgia is a high maintenance condition with lots and lots of different kinds of symptoms. There's no way to just take a pill to make it go away, even for a little while. Sometimes a certain medication can make some of my symptoms more bearable. That's about the best I can hope for. Other times I may take a lot of medication and still won't feel any better. That's just the way it goes. I can't control how often I feel good or when I'm going to feel terrible. Lots of people have been cutting new drugs advertisements out of magazines for me and I appreciate the thought, but I've seen them too. Look at the list of side effects and the few symptoms they help in return. Even in the best studies those expensive compounds didn't help over half the people who tried them. No matter how happy the people in the pictures look, there's still no miracle drug available.

There's no cure for fibromyalgia and it won't go away. If I am functioning normally, I am having a good day. This doesn't mean I'm getting better.- I suffer from chronic pain and fatigue for which there is no cure. I can have good days, several good weeks or even months. But a good morning can suddenly turn into a terrible afternoon. I get a feeling like someone has pulled out a plug and all my energy has just run out of my body. I might get more irritable before these flares, and suddenly get more sensitive to noise or just collapse from deadening fatigue. Weather changes can have a big effect on how I feel. Other times there may be no warning, I may just suddenly feel awful. I can't warn you when this is likely to happen because there isn't any way for me to know. The sadness I feel for what my illness does to those around me is more than I can easily describe. You may remember me as a light-hearted fun loving person and it hurts me that I am no longer what I was.

People with fibromyalgia have a different kind of pain that is hard to treat. It is not caused by inflammation like an injury. It is not a constant ache in one place like a broken bone. It moves around my body daily and hourly and changes in severity and type. Sometimes it is dull and sometimes it is cramping or prickly. Sometimes it's jabbing and excruciating. Sometimes I just hurt all over like I've been beaten up or an elephant decided to tap dance all over my body. Sometimes I feel too tired to lift up my arm.

Besides pain, I have muscle stiffness which is worse in the morning and evenings. Sometimes when I get up out of a chair I feel like I am ninety years old. I may have to ask you to help me up. I trip over things no one can see, and I bump into the person I am walking with and I drop things and spill things because my fingers are stiff and my coordination is off. I just don't seem to connect the way I should. Hand-eye, foot-eye coordination, it's all off. I walk slowly up and down stairs because I'm stiff , always expecting to fall. When there's no railing to hold on to, it's terrifying.

My limitations, like my pain and my other symptoms are invisible, but they are real.

Another symptom I have is problems with memory and concentration which is called fibrofog. Short-term memory is the worst! I am constantly looking for things. I have no idea where I put down my keys or phone, and I walk into rooms and have no idea why. Even if I put notes around to remind myself of important things, I'm still liable to forget them. I will at times drive to the shops or even work, and it will just hit me that I do not know where I am. I have learned to just drive on even if I miss my turnoff, I can just turn back. When this first started I was scared that I am really going nuts, but afterwards I just laughed about it, because there is nothing I can do about it and to sit and cry over something I cannot change is not an option for me, but don't worry, this is normal for for people with fibromyalgia. Most of us are frightened that we are getting Alzheimer's. New kinds of brain scans have actually documented differences in our brains.

Sometimes when I feel lousy I just want to be by myself. When I'm like this there's nothing you can do to make me feel better, so it's just better to let me be.

I have problems sleeping. Sometimes I get really restless and wake up and can't get back to sleep. Other times I fall into bed and sleep for nine hours and still be tired. Some nights I'll toss and turn and not be able to sleep at all even after taking sleeping tablets.. Sometimes I will battle to get asleep and when I do eventually fall asleep, I still wake up very, very early. I can still function during the day, I am just a bit slower than usual.

All these symptoms and the chemical changes in my brain from pain and fatigue can make me depressed as you'd imagine. I get angry and frustrated and I have mood swings. Sometimes I know I'm being unreasonable but I can't admit it. Sometimes I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed. These emotions are all very strong and powerful. I know this is a very hard thing about being with me. Every time you put up with me when I'm in one of my moods, secretly I'm grateful. I can't always admit it at the time, but I'm admitting it now. One thing I can tell you is it won't help to tell me I'm irrational. I know I am, but I can't help it when it's happening.

I have other symptoms like irritable bowel, muscle spasms and pelvic pain that will take their toll on intimacies. Some of these symptoms are embarrassing and hard to talk about. I picked up a lot of weight, and battle to loose it.

I have also started using Young Living Essential oils with my chronic medication. I believe God gave us nature and in nature you will find what you need to heal yourself and others, so I started making my own products. It is so much fun, and it helps me to relax. Some of the products I use are for sale in the Oilway shop. I totally fell in love with the oils. I will share recipes with you that I believe will help. I am so exited about this!

In March 2021, I got COVID really bad. But once again, God took care of me. The people who took care of me was so wonderful and loving. They helped me a lot, and showed that they actually do care, even if they have to work with someone who have a life threatening disease. I was one of the lucky ones who is still here. My parents, younger sister and my son had COVID the same time as me. My poor son had to drive us to hospital and help us while he was also sick. I am so grateful that he was able to be there for me, and that he was ok. He had a really rough time, but kept going. I am so grateful that we were spared. There is too many of my loved ones who died. It actually makes you look at everything differently. It took me 9 months to be able to go back to work. The COVID really messed with my system and my Fibromyalgia went haywire. I did rehab (water exercises) and are still getting treatment for the Fibromyalgia. I go for treatment in Pretoria, it was every 3 months, but is now going to 6 months. I can walk and even run now. Still have a lot of off days, but that is ok, I will be fine.

The doctors, hospital staff, my Young Living friends (known and unknown) my family, friends and especially my kids got me through this experience. But there is one person, who I would never have made it if He was not with me. God was with me every step of the way. I never worried and stressed while I was hospitalized. The only time I realized how serious it actually was, was when I was told I can go home.

So currently I am using my prescribed medicine, Young Living Essential Oils and Ningxia from Young Living. Exercises I currently do is swimming and walking. My goal is to start jogging and see how that goes. I would also like to start doing Yoga and Pilates again.

I also try to listen to my body, which is not always easy

There are still days that is not very nice, then I just use more of my oils and it makes it bearable.

Always keep hope alive, no matter how bad it gets for you. There is so many people out there who actually do care about you. I had so many people pray for me, even people I did not know, and I firmly believe that I made it this far because of all those people praying for me.

So, there is nothing I cannot overcome with God in my corner. And if I can, you can, just keep going.

Do you have a loved one who has Fibromyalgia, or were you diagnosed with Fibromyalgia?

Have you tried using Essential Oils?

Please share your experience with us.

Let me know if you have tried any of our products and what worked for you?

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